Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Tears, & Trust

A couple of weeks ago we learned my wife was pregnant. When, late on a Thursday night, Taylor surprised me with a positive pregnancy test, our smiles grew large and the sights and sounds of rejoicing filled our home.

         Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
         the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

Child number two was on the way! Psalm 127 was on our lips as we sat on the edge of our couch and prayed for this new little life. Would we have a boy or a girl? We wondered over who the Lord was forming together.

        For you formed my inward parts;
        you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.Psalm 139:13

We had just, I mean just, begun praying and trying for a second child. How quickly the Lord had opened my wife's womb!      

Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb. Genesis 30:22

We marveled over God's kindness to us. We imagined what our household was soon to look like: two children under the age of 2, filling our small condo with noise and life and laughter.

Then, early this week, my wife suffered a miscarriage. Taylor called me at work to tell me the news. Immediately, my heart sank. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I drove home to be with my wife. We talked, prayed, and touched. Tears came in the evening.

It was at the end of my trail run that evening, as I was alone in the hills, processing my wife's miscarriage before my God, that the tears came. The sudden, sharp plunge from news of new life to news of a life miscarried brought on a sudden, sharp flow of tears.

    ...the LORD had closed her womb. 1 Samuel 1:5

I didn't sleep well that night.

The next morning Taylor and I woke to the start of a new year. As New Year's Day unfolded--a long day of football, friends, and food, we found refreshment. Somewhere between the food and the football and the silent prayers we were moved to praise the Lord and place fresh faith in his sovereign rule over the womb, particularly praising his trustworthy care over my wife's womb. 

And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD  gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Job 1:21

As you do not know the way  the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. Ecclesiastes 11:5

Friends, thank you for the love you've shown my family, particularly my wife, as we've been traveling this recent path of pregnancy, miscarriage, tears, and trust.

Comments

[Dana Ferri]

You guys are in our prayers. We have suffered this same loss, and Psalm 139 was a great refuge.

[Francis]

I'm so sorry to hear the news. I will be praying for your family.

I had a rough day today and seeing your faith among heartache is powerful. Christ keep you guys.

Francis

[Jason Park]

Dear brother in Christ,

I've recently come across your blog and have been greatly blessed by it. Just wanted to thank you for sharing your heart so openly with the blogosphere. My wife and I underwent the same experience this past year. May the comforts of Christ comfort you mightily at this time.

In Him,
Jason Park.

[Russ]

My daughter and her husband just went through this a month ago. We understand your heartbreak & we're praying for you. May God bless in you in the coming months and years.

[Josh Montague]

Justin, thanks for your words of faith in trials. Your family is in our prayers as you lean on His sovereignty.

[Rick Bonetti]

The prayers of your friends support you.

Justin and Taylor,

Keep pressing on. Your commitment to the sovereignty of God and the goodness of God during this time is definitely an example to all.

The Lord truly is good. Keep pressing on. The Lord is glorified.

Blessings,

[Geoffrey]

Justin and Taylor,

Keep pressing on. Your commitment to the sovereignty of God and the goodness of God during this time is definitely an example to all.

The Lord truly is good. Keep pressing on. The Lord is glorified.

Blessings,

Praying for your whole family.

[Mark]

Hey brother,

Sorry to hear about the news. I understand completely what you are going through. My wife and I have a child in heaven waiting for us.

YBIC,
Mark

[Jonathan]

Sorry to hear of the sad news.

"Safe in the Arms of God: Truth from Heaven About the Death of a Child" by John MacArthur really helped us.

[Ana Lucia Novak]

Hi there:
Just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about what happened - I suffered a miscarraige last year, so I can relate to the pain.
One thing I learned from my OBGYN is that I am / was very low on Folate; he recommended that I take pre-natals, and prescribed me on Folgart ( a form of folate) in order to prepare my body for pregnancy. David and I are still trying, but we are using "this time" to let God do his work in our relationship and we pray God's will over our lives as it concerns children.

I will keep you and your wife in my prayers, and I hope you two are doing okay.

Love,ANA

[Danny Slavich]

This is such a difficult thing. I've known a number of people who have gone through it (including my mom). Our prayers are with you all.

[Justin Buzzard]

Everybody, thanks for the kind comments and prayers. We really appreciate it.

[Rebekah]

Hi Justin, Toby's wife Rebekah here. I just wanted to tell you and your wife how very, very sorry I am for this loss. We have walked this path twice (you'll have to ask Toby sometime about our story in this regard). It is difficult, but we praise God for his sovereignty and faithfulness. May you know His "peace that passes understanding".